One of Funniest Mails Ever

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Calling Customer Care is very tough -

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):

"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

Directory Enquiries

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

Another Tech-Support -

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

Customer Care People are Extra-ordinary -

Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Now Customer is Smart Here -

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you Bought it from."


Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

-- Keep on laughing till you fell from your Chair
- - Kalingaa..

History will absolve me.

I have always believed that "what legend and leaders thought" was way aheaf of their time. It was act of shear determination and will power that is essential for a human to succeed in way of life.

"Condemn me. It does not matter. History will absolve me." - Fidel Castro

I have an intrest to look into writings of people who took challange to fight against mightiest enemy they can have. GreatPoet Surya Kant "Nirala" (or few claim tah it is written by Dr. Haribansh Rai Bachchan but i believe Nirala wrote this) wrote this legendary poem to give a glimpse of what is truth behind these people's success ....

Lehron Se Darkar Nauka Paar Nahin Hoti,
Himmat Karne Waalon Ki Kabhi Haar Nahin Hoti.

Nanhi Chinti Jab Daana Lekar Chalti Hai,
Chadti Deewaron Par Sau Baar Fisalti Hai,
Mann Ka Vishwaas Ragon Mein Saahas Bhartaa Hai,
Chadkar Girna, Girkar Chadna Na Akharta Hai,
Mehnat Uski Bekar Har Baar Nahin Hoti,
Koshish Karne Waalon Ki Kabhi Haar Nahin Hoti.

Dubkiyan Sindhu Mein Gotaakhor Lagata Hai,
Jaa Jaakar Khaali Haath Lautkar Aata Hai,
Milte Na Sahaj Hi Moti Gehre Paani Mein,
Badta Doona Vishwaas Isi Hairaani Mein,
Muththi Uski Khaali Harbaar Nahin Hoti,
Koshish Karne Waalon Ki Kabhi Haar Nahin Hoti.

Asafaltaa ek Chunauti hai Sweekaar Karo,
Kya Kami Reh Gayi Dekho Aur Sudhar Karo,
Jab Tak Na Safal Ho Neend Chain Ki Tyago Tum,
Sangharshon Ka Maidaan Chod Mat Bhaago Tum,
Kuch Kiye Binaa Hi Jai Jaikaar Nahin Hoti,
Koshish Karne Waalon Ki Kabhi Haar Nahin Hoti.

-- Keep the will power in you

- - Kalingaa...

Poetry - by Uncle Ho

"Ho Chi Minh" remains a cult figure throughout the world for his stand for Nationalism and Vietnam. He was "Uncle Ho" for all who believed in independence without any capitalistic and imperialistic force. He wrote these two poems while in prison of French colonials.

GOOD DAYS COMING

Everything changes, the wheel
of the law turns without pause.

After the rain, good weather.

In the wink of an eye

The universe throws off
its muddy cloths.

For ten thousand miles
the landscape

Spreads out like
a beautiful brocade.

Gentle sunshine.
Light breezes. Smiling flowers,

Hang in the trees, amongst the
sparkling leaves,

All the birds sing at once.

Men and animals rise up reborn.

What could be more natural?

After sorrow comes happiness.

FREE, I WALK ON THE MOUNTAIN
AND ENJOY THE VIEW

Mountains. Clouds.
More mountains. More clouds.

Far below a river gleams,
bright and unspotted.

Alone, with beating heart,
I walk on the Western Range,

And gaze far off towards the South
and think of my comrades.

- Ho Chi Minh

-- Keep your Faith in your Natianal Uniqueness
- - Kalingaa...

Khamoshiyan Gungunane Lagi !!

परिंदो को मिलेगी मंजिल एक दिन
ये फैले हुए उनके पर बोलते हैं ...
वही लोग रहते हैं खामोश अक्सर
जमाने में जिनके हुनर बोलते हैं ...

-- Keep the Words for better use
- - Kalingaa...

Mercy

And then no one will grasp why we feel pain here
And who before whom is guilty.
This silence an unbearable load
For a heart who loves your world for naught
How can my eyes be glad
If my corpse is left unclothed ?

Constitutional freedom of "Speech and Expression"

Being in indian democracy and born in a open & righteous family, I always knew that we can speak anything if we have a faith and command of that topic. This never meant to offend anyone but being true to myself was a dignity I always Njoied. In course of life, some time this strength meant being arrogant and hard to others as truth is not always right. But I choose truth over all because i knew that at end of the day all will feel good for the same.

Now after so many years of that air has made me a sharp and spontanous truth speaker which is not good to be in social life. Till date it was just school, college and friends and so.. But now while changing myself to a new environment I feel hard to be silent. Also the change comes so drastically that I am a geographic zone where monarchy is alive, no freedom of speech at all, people just dont care for their right (i think so) and worst of all they have no laws at all. So either I will have to change according to them or I will not the same person I was.

I have taken the first few steps to change and experience is .... not what i expected. At end I can say that whatever we feel about Indian Democracy, its best for indian Society.

-- Keep faith in India
- - Kalingaa..

Happy Independence Day to all Indians

From the day I can remember, I am used to go to school or near-by flag ceremony on I-Day. After that we had few cultural programme and in the end we used to get "Sweets".

Earlier it was for Sweets, then as I had more and more knwledge about India, It became emotional visit for me. After all this ceremonial processing, we used to ran to TV and watch live telecast from Red Fort,Delhi.

Now for the first time I am going to miss this great day as I am away from it. but Tiranga is in my heart. So I am with all of my dear friends. Also on the side "Happy I-Day" to Pakistan also.

Happy
Independence
Day to India

-- Keep India in your Heart
- - Kalinga..

Orkut.com

It was most easy way for me to communicate to people around me and people from other places too.
But from last few days and I think for next few months I have to be away from this as Where I am currently this site is not supported and I cant even view who scrapped me or not.

So do make any comment on this blog or mail me on kalingaa22@gmail.com to be in touch.
Hoping to get you all with this.

-- Kalingaa .. ( or Gajodhar ) what you name me....

Going Home ...

It takes planning one month ahead to get a ticket in Indian Railways and i prefer rail over other modes of travel because it is real india on show in Train travel. You meet people whom you never knew and you won't meet them again but you make abond with them foe your travel time and you keep those memories with you for a long time. As i was going away from rainy Bombay to my home, i felt that this may be last time i am seeing all this greenry and i felt nostalgic for sometime.

After sometime i started talking with fellow pessengers and time just went suddenly and it was end of journey for me.

"Hum chalte hain ab, Shayad phir kisi mod pe mulaqat ho jaaye .."

After this, it was long not so wet road to home and cool breeze with essence of my homeland (though i feel india as my homeland but my village have special place in my heart) and people whom i know very well. They were not running for trains or buses, and they were happy to see me which is not case for me in Bombay or so-other-metro.

I love you all my fellow villagers ...

Rest of diary will come up soon in more break-up manner ..

-- Keep your homeland in your Hearts
- - Kalingaa...

New Phase ...

As world is becoming faster and faster as time moving ahead. As i am at a point to make decision of my career, I have many questions to ask from myself than from anyone else. What i should choose as path of future lies in my hand and I will unable to handle things like fear of failure and greed of money ..

If i make a decision and i achieve success in life than i dont have to regret for it .. But if i dont get what i dream than I hope that i will take that as part of life and blow on career...

I am hoping for the Best ....

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning

- - Kalingaa..

World Cup is Over ....

I learned the word "The Wrold Cup Soccer" in 1994 when i saw world cup soccer for first time. Before that it was just on nwespapers and the feel was not of the level of what i had during and after that cup.

From very start of USA'94 , i am fan of Brazil and i have seen Brazil in Final in all three times in 94, 98 and 2002. Now as i dont see brazil in final so i am heartbroken

See you Brazil in south Africa and i hope i will be there for you too.

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning

- - Kalingaa..

Kehdo Aaj ...

After a long time i feel like being free from all nets and webs around me. It great to do nothing for sometime but as some wise man said a long time ago "Silence is just a cover for Storm to follow". But i dont want to let this moment go so soon and under-utilised.

Hawa se kehdo Aaj Hum Azaad Hain
Agar Azal se nahin ho sake to kya
Lekin ab Abad tak nahin bandhane payenge
Lehar se kehdo hum unke saath hain

Aaj ka sard sa mausam bhi hai khushnuma sa
Manzil to nahin mili lekin saamne padav to hai
Jaake kehdo un rukavaton se jo raaste mein hain
Aaj kalingaa akela nahin uske saath sailaab hai
Kehdo aaj is jahan se Hum Azaad Hain

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa..

India - The Great Laughter Show

As quest for knowledge is ever increasing for me ... I search and look various blogs to get new approach to life and related things.

I was looking for topics on the so-called The Indian Laughter Show and i saw this blog entry which is very good assessment of what we are today in india.

http://o3.indiatimes.com/anant_rulz/archive/2006/06/26/851859.aspx

Thank you "anant_rulz" for writing this as you have just wrote what i always wanted to read and hoping that we just dont forget it this time.

Are we brave enough & wise enough to accept the challenge of the future and that future is not one of ease or resting but of incessant striving so that we might fulfil the pledges we have so often taken and the One we shall take today. At this Moment, We take the pledge of dedication to the service of India and her people and to a larger cause of equality.

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaaa..

Yeh Raat Yeh Tanhai - Meena Kumari

We all know that "Meena Kumari" was a great acctress , sea of talent and great speaker in movies but very few know that she was a great urdu writer too. She expressed her sorrows and miseries in many places and most importantly in her poetry which is the best reflection of her feelings.

Tum kya karoge sunkar mujhse meri kahani
Beluft zindagi ke kisse hain pheeke pheeke

At the time of divorce she had said -

Talaak to de rahe ho Nazar-e-kahar ke saath
Jawani bhi meri lauta do Mehar ke saath

This is one of her ghazal which she wrote in time of loneliness and at height of popularity

ye raat ye tanhai
ye dil ke dhadakane ki awaaz
ye sannata

ye dubate taaron ki
khamosh Gazalkhvani
ye waqt ki palkon par
soti hui virani
jazbaat-e-muhabbat ki
ye aakhiri angadai
bajati hui har jaanib
ye maut ki shahanai

sab tum ko bulaate hain
pal bhar ko tum aa jao
band hoti meri aankhon mein
muhabbat ka
ik khwaab sajaa jao

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa..

A Ghazal from 'Mir Taqi Mir'

Mir Taqi Mir was a great Urdu Poet in 18th Century just Before Ghalib's Time. He has forgotten by most of people as at that time India had many other poets of same caliber. This is one of best poem he wrote ... Just Read decide what you would say about him.

Patta patta, boota boota, haal hamaaraa jaane hai,
Jaane na jaane gul hi na jaane, baagh to saaraa jaane hai.

Aage us mutkabbar ke ham Khuda Khuda kiya karte hain,
Kab maujud Khuda ko woh maghrur khud-aara jaane hai.

Aashiq saa to saada koi aur na hoga dunya mein,
Ji ke zian ko ishq mein uske apna waara jaane hai.

Chaaraa gari beemari-e-dil ki rasm-e-shahr-e-husn nahin,
Warna dilbar-e-naadaan bhi is dard kaa chaara jaane hai.

Mehr-o-wafa-o-lutaf-o-inait, ek se waqif in mein nahin,
Aur to sab kuchh tanz-o-kanaya, ramz-o-ishara jaane hai.

Aashiq to murdah hai hamesha ji uthta hai dekhe use,
Yaar ke aa jaane ko yakaayak umr do baara jaane hai.

Tashna-e-khun hai apna kitna, Mir bhi naadaan, talkhi-kash,
Damdaar aab-e-tegh ko uske aab-e-gawara jaane hai.

- 'Mir Taqi Mir'

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa..

Dukh Anmol Hote Hain ...

Dukh Anmol Hote Hain
Qudrat Ki Wadeeat Hain
Kabhi Kuch Dey Ke Jate Hain
Kabhi sab Chheen Lete Hain
Kabhi Bechain Karte Hain
Kabhi Jeena Sikhate Hain
Kabhi Bannte Hain Jab Aansoo
Umar Bhar Lahoo Rulate Hain
Kabhi Lub Ki Hansi Ban Kar
Nayi Duniya Sajaate Hain
Kabhi Meethi Kasak Ban Kar
Anjaani Khalish Ban kar
Makeen-E-Dil Yeh Bante Hain
Kisi Soorat Nahin Mit'tey
Jo In Se Door Bhaago Toh
Kaheen Jaane Nahin Dete
Na Zinda Rehne Dete Hain
Na Yeh Aazaad Karte Hain
Nahin Jiski Dawa Koi
Yeh Aisa Dard Hote Hain
Magar Yeh Bhi Ik Haqeeqat Hai
Har Ik Ko To Nahin Milte
Bare Nayaab Hote Hain
Dukh Anmol Hote Hain!!

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa..

Justice ...

"Fiat justitia, ruat caelum."
(Let justice be done, though the heavens may fall.)

These words were said by William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield during a case against slavery in Britain on 22 June 1772. Now these words are symbol of Law & Justice without Emotion or Force. It shows faith in Judicial System with no interference and traditionalism.

When I have to believe that a court of law has given a ruling and it is just then i tend to look by both sides as there is no absolute right or worng. There is some part of unjustice done to both sides and justice to all. Similarly about present situation in India, there is no absolute winner or loser from any verdict. We have to make a path to social peace and equality.

If "There can be no real peace without justice. And without resistance there will be no justice." then be prepared for a discussion .. a fight.. a law .. a court .. which will provide you a space to speak and let you show the world what you want to tell them. At that time not only it will be your prestige but future will also be at stake . And if you fail that day, history will never let you go unnoticed and your name will be there in black dairy.

Here the word "you" is "me" or "Kalingaa.." but i am looking from a neutral point whereas personally i am against reservation at any level of any percentage.

-- Keep the Flame Up and Burning
- - Kalingaa..

Vendetta ...

Cinema has always been a way to communicate people's feeling to other section of society and vice versa. Last week i saw a totally different style movies but few quotes struck in my mind and left my mind hanging in middle of "what is right and what should be done for it".

While watching "V for Vendetta" which will be relevant for any totalitarian society or government, i heard lead freedom fighter saying

"A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world. "

"This may be the most important moment of your life... commit to it."

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people. "

And most importantly which took me more than a hour to understand and realize what truely these lines want to convey

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Its a very heavy dose of words but when one gets to understand this, it will be like shortest way to ask for Justice and Pride in society. This may not be a public's slogan but if it will be there will be no need of words like "public awareness" & "Ahwaan (Calling..)".

One thing that we should know that "This may be the most important moment of Our life... so we have to commit to it."

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa..

We will fight friends...

People of India and Many of my friends think that fight of equality is over or in other words its slowing down so i have tell them again that we will fight till end ... If they respect my words then i can say that -

"I take pledge that i will fight for equality and justice for every indian till i have spirit and feeling of being an indian inside me. I will not do anything to disown or defame this country but I will do everything to keep this spirit alive."

--Kalingaa..

To keep my words i repeat what i have always been true with -

Hum ladenge Sathi…
(We will fight friends.)

Hum ladenge Sathi, Udaas Mausam ke khilaaf.
(Friends, we will fight against bad weather...)

Hum chunenge Sathi, Zindagi ke kuch tukde.
(Friends, we will collect pieces of Life…)

Hum ladenge jab tak Duniya mein ladne ki jaroorat hai.
(Friends, we will fight because this world needs revolution...)

Hum ladenge Sathi; ki lade bagair kuch nahin milta.
(Friends, we will fight because without revolution there is no justice…)

Hum ladenge Sathi; ki Ab tak lade kyun nahin?
(Friends, we will fight because we haven’t fought since a long time…)

Hum ladenge; ki ladte huye Shahid huye unke liye.
(Friends, we will fight for Legacy of revolutionary before us…)

Hum ladenge Sathi; ki Ladna hi Zindagi hai.
(Friends, we will fight because change & fighting spirit is Life…)

Hum ladenge Sathi ... Hum ladenge Sathi ...
(Friends, we will fight… Friends, we will fight…)

-- Kalingaa..

Brighter Tomorrow

Never stop caring
about the quality of life
never stop dreaming
or give in to strife.

Never stop building bridges
that lead to promising tomorrows,
never stop trying
or give in to sorrows.

Never stop smiling
and looking forward to each new day,
But most of all my friend...
never stop shining in your own special way.

Never forget that all storms can clear
the grayest sky can turn pure blue.
Remember brighter tomorrows are near...
And that I'm always here for you.

Have A Wonderful Day

-- Keep the Flame Up & Burning
- - Kalingaa...