Sometimes you feel to take your frustration out by the means which has not been tried by you. You turn to things which are addiction for most and revered by rest. There are some who would fight against the mood and few like me succumb to the temptation of black (or Grey whatever).
Not sure whether I could take this smoking once or I'll take it as replacement to my non-confrontational attitude. Still I took the challenge (or rather the escape route) and bought the pack of 20 (just for the scenario when I actually like it). When I lit the cig, I felt like burning everything I hated and detested for long. It seemed a moment long due for lotsa reasons and eve more so for the emotional outburst which I was suppressing.
When I took the inhale, everything became clear. It felt cowardice and flash of more such defeats of will-power came before my eyes. Next step was to take all the crap which would come in my way. It was something which I wouldn't accept not because of any other concerns but of ego. Nothing and nothing can intoxicate me except my own unbinding ego. I'll fuel my frustration with my ego and will burn it to take me to the moments of my destiny.
I still think that we all have some form of intoxication or other to be what we are. It makes us human and not some god-like-figure when we take some things which we are not proud of.
In an unknown poet's words:
कर्म में है नशा, धर्म में है नशा,-- Kalingaa...
मर्म में है नशा, शर्म में है नशा,
सच पूछिए ज़नाब तो अधर्म में भी है नशा।
नशा ही नशा है हर चीज में है नशा॥
शोहरत में है नशा, दौलत में है नशा,
शोहबत में है नशा, मोहब्बत में है नशा,
सच पूछिए ज़नाब तो हुकूमत में है नशा।
नशा ही नशा है हर चीज में है नशा॥
ज़िन्दगी में है नशा, बन्दगी में है नशा,
सादगी में है नशा, पसन्दगी में है नशा,
सच पूछिए ज़नाब तो रंगीनगी में है नशा।
नशा ही नशा है हर चीज में है नशा॥
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